abusive cycle-name of the ongoing rotation between destructive and constructive behavior which is typical of many dysfunctional relationships and families
alienation-act of cutting off or interfering with an individuals relationships with others”always” and “never” statements-declarations containing the words always or never, they are commonly used but rarely true
anger-often feel a sense of unresolved anger and a heightened perception that they have been wronged, invalidated, neglected, or abused
baiting-a provocative act used to solicitate an angry aggressive, or emotional response from another
blaming-the practice of identifying a persons responsibility for creating a bad situation
bullying-any systematic action of hurting a person from a position of relative physical, social, economic, or emotional strength
catastrophizing-automatically assuming a worst case scenario and innappropriately characterizing minor or moderate problems or issues as catastrophic events
chaos manufacture-unnecessarily creating or maintaining an environment of risk, destruction, confusion, or mess
cheating-sharing a romantic or intimate relationship with somebody when you are already committed to a monogamous relationship with someone else
chronic broken promises-repeatedly making and then breaking commitments and promises is a common trait of people who suffer from personality disorders
circular conversations-arguments which go on almost endlessly, repeatingb the same patterns with no resolution
confirmation bias-tendency to pay more attention to things
“control-me” syndrome-describes a tendency which some people have to foster relationships with people who have controlling, narcissistic , anti-social, or “acting-out” nature
denial-believing or imagining that some painful or traumatic circumstance, event, or memory does not exist or did not happen
dependency-inappropriate and chronic reliance by an adult or another individual for their health, subsistence, decision-making, or personal or emotional well-being
depression-people who suffer from personality disorders are often also diagnosed with symptoms of depression
dissociation-describes a mental departure from reality
emotional abuse-pattern of behavior directed at one individual by another which promotes in them a destructive sense of fear, obligation, or guilt (FOG)
emotional blackmail-system of threats and punishments used in an attempt to control someone’s behavior
engulfment-unhealthy and overwhelming level of attention and dependency on another person, which comes from imagining or believing one exists only within the context of that relationship
false accusations-patterns of unwarranted or exaggerated criticism directed toward someone else
favoritism/scapegoating-systematically giving a dysfunctional amount of preferential positive or negative treatment to one individual among a family or group of fears
fear of abandonment-an irrational fear that one is in imminent danger of being personally rejected, discarded, or replaced
feelings of emptiness-an acute, chronic sense that daily life has little worth of significance, leading to an impulsive appetite for strong physical sensations and dramatic relationship experiences
gaslighting-practice of brainwashing or convincing of a mentally healthy individual that they are going insane
harassment-any sustained or chronic pattern of unwelcome behavior by one individual by another
hysteria-an inappropriate overreaction to bad news, which diverts attention away from the real problem and towards the person having the reaction
identity disturbance-describes a distorted or inconsistent self-view
imposed isolation-when abuse results in a person becoming isolated from their support network, including friends and family
impulsiveness-tendency to act or speak based on current feelings rather than logical reasoning
infantilization-treating a child as if they were much younger than their actual age
intimidation-any form of veiled, hidden, indirect, or non-verbal threat
invalidation-creation or promotion of an environment which encourages an individual to believe their thoughts, beliefs, values, or physical presence are inferior, flawed, problematic, or worthless
lack of conscience-often preoccupied with their own agendas, sometimes to the exclusion of the needs and concerns of others
lack of object constancy-inability to remember that people or objects are consistent, trustworthy, or reliable, especially when they are out of your immediate field of vision
low self-esteem-a common name for a negatively distorted self-view which is inconsistent with reality
manipulation-practice of steering an individual into a desired behavior for the purpose of achieving a hidden personal agenda
masking-covering up one’s own natural outward appearance, mannerisms, and speech in dramatic and inconsistent ways depending on the situation
mirroring-imitating or copying another persons characteristics, behaviors, or traits, also known as chameleon disorder
moments of clarity-spontaneous periods when a person with a personality disorder becomes more objective and tries to make amends
mood swings-unpredictable, rapid, dramatic emotional cycles which cannot be readily explained by changes in external circumstances
Munchausen’s and Munchausen by proxy syndrome-an individual repeatedly fakes or exaggerates medical symptoms in order to manipulate the attentions of medical professionals or caregivers
name-calling-use of profane, derogatory, or dehumanizing terminology to describe another individual or group
neglect-passive form of abuse in which the physical or emotional needs of a dependent are disregarded or ignored by the person responsible for them”not my fault” syndrome-practice of avoiding personal responsibility for one’s own words and actions
objectification-practice of treating a person or group of people like an object
obsessive-compulsive behavior-an inflexible adherence to arbitrary rules and systems, or an illogical adherence to cleanliness and orderly structure
panic attacks-short, intense episodes of fear or anxiety, often accompanied by physical symptoms, such as hyperventilating, shaking, sweating, and chills
parental alienation syndrome-when a separated parent convinces their child that the other parent is bad, evil, or worthless
passive-aggressive behavior-expressing negative feelings in an unassertive, passive way
pathological lying-persistent deception by an individual with no regard to the needs and concerns of others, habitually lies to serve their own needs
projection-act of attributing one’s own feelings or traits to another person and imagining or believing that the other person has those same feelings or traits
proxy recruitment-a way of controlling or abusing another person by manipulating other people into unwittingly backing “doing the dirty work”push-pull-chronic pattern of sabotaging and re-establishing closeness in a relationship without appropriate cause or reason
relationship hypervigilance-maintaining an unhealthy level of interest in the behaviors, comments, thoughts, and interest in others
sabotage-spontaneous disruption of calm or status quo in order to serve a personal interest, provoke a conflict, or draw attention
selective memory/selective amnesia-use of memory or lack of memory, which is selective to the point of reinforcing a bias, belief, or desired outcome
selective competence-demonstrating different levels of intelligence, memory, resourcefulness, strength, or competence depending on the situation or environment
self-harm-any form of deliberate, premeditated injury, such as cutting, poisoning, or overdosing, inflicted on one
selfself-loathing-extreme hatred of one’s own self, actions,or one’s ethnic or demographic background
self-victimization-casting oneself into the role of a victim
sense of entitlement-an unrealistic, unmerited, or inappropriate expectation of favorable living conditions and favorable treatment at the hands of others
shaming-when someone tells you that you are something bad
silent treatment-a passive-aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval, and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining verbal silence
sleep deprivation-practice of routinely interrupting, impeding, or restricting another person’s sleep cycle
splitting-practice of regarding people as either completely “good” or completely “bad”stalking-any pervasive and unwelcome pattern of pursuing contact with another individual
testing-repeatedly forcing another individual to demonstrate or prove their love or commitment to a relationship
thought policing-process of trying to question, control, or unduly influence another person’s thoughts or feelings
threats-inappropriate , intentional warnings of destructive actions or consequences
triangulation-gaining advantage over perceived rivals by manipulating them into conflicts with each other
triggering-small, insignificant, or minor actions, statements, or events that produce a dramatic or innappropriate response
tunnel vision-habit or tendency to only see or focus on a single priority while neglecting or ignoring other important priorities
verbal abuse-any kind of repeated pattern of innappropriate, derogatory, or threatening speech directed at one individual by another
The BPD Group 