The Chameleon Personality

-“mirroring”

-the constant, unconscious change in the person’s ‘self’ as they struggle to fit into their environment, or the people around them

-it is, essentially, a fluctuating identity

-it is the manifestation of a basic inability or difficulty in establishing a stable sense of self

-without diagnosis and treatment, most people are unaware of the chameleon, and it is only through awareness that the chameleon can be managed

-people with BPD instinctively ‘mirror’ to fit in, because without that behavior, we have no idea what will happen

-we have little or no sense of our own identity, so we can’t know if that will be acceptable to others

-and, without acceptance by others, we risk abandonment, which is an intense fear

-the fear of abandonment is a fear of being alone. it is terrifying to be left alone with yourself when you don’t know who you are

-those with a chameleon personality conceive relationships in an unequal way, they believe one partner gives orders while the other submits

-they always adapt to their partner’s lifestyle and their tastes

-the advantages to this are that you get a partner you can share everything with, and since you leave the decision making up to your partner, you always get along great

-the disadvantage is that they will always show a tendency to please and submit to the other person, they’ll never show initiation and will simply agree with their partner on everything

-but being yourself and having a healthy self-esteem is very important on a personal and relationship level

-they pay careful attention to social cues, scrutinizing others with keenness so as to know what is expected of them before making a response

-they try to be as others expect them to be, in order to get along and be liked

-they use their social abilities to mold their appearance as disparate situations demand, so that, as some people put it, “with different people i act like a very different person”

Chameleon meanings

-insight

-change

-stability

-patience

-curiosity

-sensitivity

-perception

-resourcefulness