-Radical Acceptance is not about “looking on the bright side” or “staying positive”-it’s seeing exactly what is, even all the shit, and just, accepting the fact of it’s existence, and, yes, sometimes seeing the beauty in the ugliness, and the teeny tiny sparks of light in the dark.
-It’s not about defeat or avoiding change, either, but rather make the changes we’re trying to implement so much more effective, because we’re not wasting energy denying what it is, or making it out to be something it’snot.
-It’s nothing more or less than observation without judgement, allowing for a deeper and truer and more awesome observation than would otherwise be possible. Which is one of the most radical acts imaginable.
-When something bad happens to us or when something does not go our way, there are four possible responses:
1 the person tries to change the circumstances
2 the person tries to change his or her emotions toward the circumstances
3 the person continues to be miserable
4 the person accepts the circumstances
Tell yourself: I cannot control anything but myself
-Radical Acceptance has roots in ancient Buddhist philosophy. In DBT skills training it denotes the choice that can be made by those with BPD to be “willing” as opposed to “willful”
-Radical Acceptance of DBT, when practiced, helps the person with Borderline develop the core skills necessary to build emotional mastery and turnwhat has been unmanageable suffering into manageable pain
-Radical Acceptance means completely and totally accepting something from the depths of your soul, with your heart and your mind. You stop fighting reality. When you stop fighting, you suffer less.
Three blocks to Radical Acceptance:
1 I don’t want to let them off the hook-if you let go of your emotions and radically accept, then it can seem like it never happened
2 Accepting means I agree; I will never agree-Radical Acceptance does not mean you are agreeing to a situation or action, it means you are acknowledging that the event happened and is real
3 I need to be angry to protect myself-
-Radical Acceptance rests on letting go of the illusion of control and a willingness to notice and accept things as they are right now, without judging
-There are three parts to Radical Acceptance-
1 accept that reality is what it is
2 accept that the event or situation causing you pain has a cause
3 accept life can be worth living even with painful events in it
The BPD Group 