-Reduce shame and self-criticism-I am enough, I’m flawed and I make mistakes and that’s okay, I don’t need to perfect, I accept myself, everybody has struggles and makes mistakes, I’m like everyone else, I am completely lovable just as I am, I don’t need others to validate my self-worth, I don’t need to please everyone all the time, I know in my heart that I’m enough, my struggles and imperfections don’t define me, I will continue to change and grow from a place of self-acceptance, I will offer myself love and compassion, I am completely lovable just as I am today, I am enough
-Boundaries-my thoughts are allowed to be different than others thoughts, it is totally fine if other people are annoyed, uncomfortable, or angry, it is totally normal not to agree with everybody all the time, it is healthy to do things on my own and try new things without needing others to tag along, it is no one’s job to agree with me all the time or to cater to my emotions, I am responsible for knowing what makes me happy, it is totally fine to feel sad, anxious, angry, and overwhelmed sometimes
-SOS negative self-talk stopping technique-stop-mentally tell yourself stop to give you the opportunity to address the thought and interrupt the cycle, observe-observe what you are saying to yourself and how it is making you feel, shift-shift your cognitive, emotional, or behavioral response by using positive coping skills and techniques
-I couldn’t trust my own emotions, which emotional reactions were justified, if any, and which ones were tainted by BPD. I found myself fiercly guarding and limiting my emotional reactions, chastising myself for possible distortions and motivations
-people with BPD often look to others to provide things they find difficult to supply for themselves, such as self-esteem, approval, and a sense of identity
-BPD myth-people with borderline don’t care about others, fact-we care so much it makes us crazy
-I will not stress out over things I cannot control, I cannot control anything but myself
-Stop looking for happiness in the same place you lost it
-I’m sorry I have trust issues, but when you give someone everything and they toss it away like it’s nothing, something inside of you breaks
Positive traits of people with BPD-passionate, empathetic, creative, artistic, witty, intuitive, resilient, intelligent, spontaneous, devoted, receptive, loyal, inquisitive, benevolent, clever, engaging, brave, vivacious, intense, adaptable, charismatic, determined
-what’s the most important thing you’ve done this year? survived
-sometimes when things are falling apart they may actually be falling into place
-life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it
-being a person with borderline feels like eternal hell, nothing less, pain, anger, confusion, hurt, never knowing how I’m gonna feel from one minute to the next, hurting because I hurt those who I love, feeling misunderstood, analyzing everything, nothing gives me pleasure, once in a great while I will get too happy and then get anxious because of that, then I self-medicate, then I physically hurt myself, then I feel guilty because of that. shame
-don’t be ashamed of your story, it will inspire others
-the five w’s of life-who you are is what makes you special, do not change for anyone, what lies ahead will always be a mystery, do not be afraid to explore, when life pushes you over, you push back harder, where there are choices to make, make the one you won’t regret, why things happen will never be certain, take it in stride and move forward
-one of the hardest lessons in life is letting go, whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss, or betrayal, change is never easy, we fight to hold on and we fight to let go
-it hurts so bad when you have a fear of abandonment caused by a mental disorder, but it’s the same disorder that causes people to walk out of your life
-it was what it was, it is what it is, it will be what it will be, you may not be able to control every situation, but you are able to control how it affects you, nothing is worth sacrificing your peace of mind
-sometimes I’m terrified of my heart, of it’s constant hunger for whatever it is it wants, the way it stops and starts
-it occured to me that many people are actually afraid to heal because their entire identity is centered around the trauma they’ve experienced, they have no idea who they are outside of trauma and that unknown can be terrifying
-you were given this life because you are strong enough to live it
-if I can survive the war within myself, I can survive anything
-recovery is a process, it takes time, it takes patience, it takes everything you’ve got
-she was too quiet or she was too loud, she hated with every fiber of her being or loved with every piece of her heart, there was no in-between, it was either all or nothing
-she didn’t know who would leave or stay, so she pushed them all away
-simply being more aware of your triggers can be beneficial, as a result of this increased awareness, your emotional reactions may begin to feel more understandable, and less out of control, this can definitely positively impact your mood and overall well-being
-we can overcome the oppressive symptoms of BPD and build lives worth living
-one second I am perfectly fine and the next it’s like a volcano erupts inside me, leaving me miserable
-I am meant to use my voice to fight the stereotypes and stigma surrounding mental illness
-my fear of abandonment causes me to be impulsive and reckless, the greater the fear, the worse my behavior, and the least I recognize it
-right now I’m stuck somewhere between what if, what might, what could have, and what never will, and all I want to know is what actually is
-what people with borderline would like from loved ones-listen to us but try not to judge, educate yourselves on the condition, love and affection, stability, reassurance, be clear and honest with us, know that we do love you and that we are grateful to you for your love and support, understand that we need alone time, try not to take things said to heart when we are upset or angry, we don’t mean to them but lack the skills to express our emotions in a more controlled way
-those who suffer from mental illness are stronger than you think, we must fight to go to work, care for our families, be there for our friends, and act “normal” while battling unimaginable pain
The BPD Group 