(helps you decide if your thoughts are rational or if you are having distorted thinking)
1-Situation-describe the situation, who, what, why, where, when
2-My Thoughts-describe what you are thinking while the situation is occuring
3-My Feelings-describe what you are feeling while the situation is occuring
4-Where the Feelings are Coming From-describe where your feelings are coming from, if you are aware
5-How I Usually Respond-describe how you would normally respond the situation or a similar situation
6-The Better Way to Respond-describe a better, more rational way to respond to the situation
7-How You get There-the process you will use to determine if your thoughts are rational or if you’re having distorted thinking, also a way to get from how you usually respond to the better way to respond
8-The Results-the decisions on whether your thinking has been determined to be rational or distorted thinking
9-More Results-results continued
10-Practice-practice this technique often
Example
1-Situation-I am at home. I am talking to my boyfriend on the phone. He says something that upsets me
2-My Thoughts-he’s going to cheat on me, he’s going to abandon me, I’m worthless, who the hell does he think he is, he better not cheat on me, maybe I should just kill myself, it’s hopeless
3-My Feelings-upset, hurt, jealous, angry, hopeless, and feel worthless
4-Where the Feelings are Coming From-fear of abandonment
5- How I Usually Respond-I get upset, I accuse, I cry, I ruminate,I sound angry, I sound needy and desperate
6-The Better Way to Respond-stay calm, say nothing about it, you don’t need to respond at all
7-How You get There-
-instead of letting your emotions respond for you, cover your mouth so you don’t say anything, wait at least 6 seconds until your rational mind catches up to your emotional mind
-think about the thoughts you are having-are they logical? are they true? am I making assumptions about them? are they real or imagined? is it something I can fix right now?
-based on your answers to the questions, decide if your thoughts are rational or if you are having distorted thinking. base it on facts, data, and reality
8-The Results-if your thoughts are rational, communicate effectively with my boyfriend about your concerns, staying calm, remember that even though you are upset, the only person you can control is yourself, try to work together to come up with a compromise that works for both of you
9-More results-if you are having distorted thinking, you need to realize that since your mind is playing tricks on you, it would probably be a good idea to not mention it to my boyfriend. stay calm. breather. say nothing. he won’t even be aware that anything has happened
10-Practice-practice this technique often
The BPD Group 