Object Constancy-A person’s ability to trust that just because something disappears from view for a short time that it will come back. As adults, object constancy is the ability to maintain a connection to another person even when they are not present

Abandonment-People with BPD both fear abandonment and have symptoms that create conflict with others and often leads to abandonment, which then reinforces the fear

Anxiety-Anxiety and panic attack symptoms are common in people with BPD. Symptoms of anxiety occur in almost 90% of people with the disorder

Attachment- The types of attachment found to be most characteristic of BPD subjects are unresolved, preoccupied, and fearful

Bipolar-Most people who have a dual diagnosis of Bipolar and BPD receive one diagnosis before the other. That’s because the symptoms can overlap and sometimes mask the other

Boredom-Individuals with BPD may be troubled by chronic feelings of emptiness. Easily bored, they may constantly seek something to do

Boundaries-One of the most effective ways to help a loved one with BPD gain control over their behavior is to set and enforce boundaries

Cheating-While those with BPD have the same likelihood of cheating as others, they do have a higher likelihood of suspecting their partners of cheating. One of BPDs symptoms is an assumption that others are going to cause hurt. Due to low self-esteem, they have difficulty believing that someone could love them and remain faithful to them

Codependency-This is a serious problem that can affect many people with BPD. Codependency is a behavioral and psychological condition in which a person sacrifices their own needs and wants in order to maintain an unhealthy relationship. It is also called “Relationship Addiction”

Control-Recent evidence from researchers indicates that a treatment called emotion regulation group therapy helps people with BPD avoid self-harming behavior by improving their emotional control

Depression-People with BPD often describe feeling intensely bored, restless, and/or desperately lonely when they are depressed. Further, depressed episodes in people with BPD are often triggered by interpersonal losses

D.I.D.-D.I.D. is a dissociative disorder which is a disorder characterized by an interruption of conscious awareness, and by alternating personality states. BPD may cause people to dissociate, which is a symptom of BPD, not a distinct personality

Disability-If someone with BPD has so much trouble controlling behavior that keeping a job has become impossible, disability benefits may be available

Dating-Dating with BPD may be difficult because BPD is marked by intense and stormy interpersonal relationships, it’s part of the diagnostic criteria of BPD

Emotions-Emotional Sensitivity-loved ones aren’t the only ones confused when someone with BPD has an emotional reaction, Emotional Reactivity-a person with BPD not only reacts with extreme emotion, Slow Return to Baseline-people with BPD also have a hard time calming down and stay upset longer

Empathy-BPD is a mental illness marked by unstable moods. Results of studies showed that people with BPD traits had reduced activity in brain regions that support empathy

Fear-Individuals living with BPD struggle with feelings of emptiness, a lack of self-esteem, and a deep seeded fear of abandonment. In many instances, fear of abandonment is the most prominent symptom for BPD sufferers

Favorite Person-When someone with BPD uses the term Favorite Person to describe someone else, they are typically insinuating that this is a person they cannot survive without. For BPD sufferers, the favorite person is the person who is a source of emotional support and dependence

Gaslighting-When someone invalidates your feelings, makes you feel low, and uses your illness against you

Guilt-It is normal sometimes to have feelings of guilt because mistakes are made, and shame sometimes because patterns of behavior may be in need of adjustment to better align with values and morals. But in cases of BPD, feelings of guilt and shame tend to take on a type of permanence rather than transcience

Intelligence/High Intelligence-Results of a study suggest that factors associated with the best outcomes for patients with BPD include high intelligence, unusual artistic talent, and physical attractiveness

Identity-Many people with BPD struggle with identity issues-one of the core symptoms of BPD, but people with BPD often have a very profound lack of sense of self

Intimacy-People with BPD are often terrified that others will leave them, however, they can also shift suddenly to feeling smothered and fearful of intimacy, which leads them to withdraw from relationships

Jealousy-Following a passionate beginning, expect a stormy relationship that includes accusations, anger, jealousy, bullying, control, and breakups due to the insecurity of the person with BPD. Nothing is grey or gradual, things are black and white

Lying-People with BPD often experience deep and entrenched shame, so lying may be one way to conceal mistakes or weaknesses that increase shameful feelings

Lithium-Research is limited, but it does appear that mood stabilizers can treat some BPD symptoms effectively. The most-studied med is Lithium, which can be effective in treating BPD anger and irritation

Memory-Data indicate memory impairment is BPD patients in everyday life. However, it cannot be ruled out that increased memory complaints result from patients’ negative self-perception

Nightmares-BPD is associated with high rates of suicide risk and problems related to sleep, including insomnia and nightmares

Omega 3-Those treated with this compound experienced a significantly greater reduction in their overall aggression as well as their depressive symptoms, it may be an effective monotherapy for women with moderately severe BPD

Overthinking-One of the reasons a person with BPD uses overthinking is because there is an anxious urge to try and avoid a difficult emotional experience, and so they try to anticipate how life events will unfold in advance-considering all the various details and running scenarios in their head

Psychosis-Psychotic features in BPD are a long known phenomenon. As the name of the disorder signifies, it was originally introduced to describe the patients who seemed to be on the border between neurosis and psychosis

PTSD-PTSD and BPD co-occurence, both have been found to stem from the experience of traumatic events, the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors seen in BPD are often the results of childhood traumas

Relationships-People with BPD tend to have more former partners and tend to terminate more relationships in their social networks than people without personality disorders. This suggests that romantic relationships with people with BPD are more likely to end in a breakup

Rage-Lashing out in anger, a hallmark of BPD, often stems from one basic yet intense and overriding fear-the fear of being alone. People with BPD often go into a panic or rage when they feel that they are being abandonedor are left alone, whether that abandonment is real or imagined

Revenge-Lying for revenge is by no means limited to women with traits of BPD. How much overlap there is between BPD and not only overly-intense emotional reactions but also narcissism, paranoia, sociopathy, and sometimes sadism as well is unclear

Self-image-Self-esteem is a term that refers to how we think about ourselves. If you have BPD, you may struggle with low self-esteem which can negatively impact your life, but if you have BPD, feeling capable and serving may be very rare, instead, you may feel incompetent or worthless more often

Splitting-For people with BPD, splitting is a commonly used defense mechanism that is done subconciously in an attempt to protect against intense negative feelings such as loneliness, abandonment, and isolation

Stigma-Common stereotypes include that BPD patients are dramatic, manipulative, and attention-seeking. These stereotypes can cause therapists to not take your symptoms or fears seriously, negatively impacting your health

Self-harm-If you have BPD, self-harm is not a symptom you have to live with. You can heal from BPD, cutting, and self-harm

Trauma-Most people who suffer from BPD have a history of major trauma, often sustained in childhood. This includes sexual and physical abuse, neglect, and separation from loved ones

Trust-Individuals with BPD have difficulty establishing stable, trusting relationships, and they fear abandonment from significant others, they’re prone to feelings of betrayal and misplaced trust in others

Unconditional Love-Unconditional love cannot cure BPD, but to somebody with BPD who is working towards recovery, it is a 10 out of 10 in importance. Since they believe they are worthless and bad, total acceptance helps them learn they are lovable

Violence-Intense, inappropriate anger is one of the most troubling symptoms of BPD. In fact, it’s so intense that it’s often referred to as “Borderline Rage”

Validation-Emotional validation is the process of understanding another person’s emotional experience. People with BPD may have issues with this from others

-Fear of abandonment is the overwhelming worry that people close to you will leave

–I have felt this so many times. It’s overwhelming and torturing. You feel you must do whatever it takes to make this feeling go away and keep the person close to you

-Fear of abandonment can be deeply rooted in a traumatic experience you had as a child

-I do not know what happened to me when I was a child, but my mother abused me while I was a child, so I believe I have had my fair share of traumatic experiences

-There are three types of fear of abandonment

1 fear of emotional abandonment

2 fear of abandonment in children

3 abandonment anxiety in relationships

-I believe I suffer from both fear of emotional abandonment and abandonment anxiety in relationships

-Symptoms of fear of abandonment

-overly sensitive to criticism

-difficulty trusting others

-difficulty making friends unless you can be sure they like you

-taking extreme measures to avoid rejection or separation

-pattern of unhealthy relationships

-getting attached to people too quickly

-then moving on just as quickly

-difficulty committing to a relationship

-working too hard to please the other person

-blaming yourself when things don’t work out

-staying in a relationship even if it’s not healthy for you

-I definitely become very overly sensitive to criticism, I have a very hard time trusting others, and it becomes obvious to them, I do take extreme measures to avoid rejection, though those efforts often end in getting rejected anyway, I have a pattern of unstable relationships, throughout my whole life, I always work too hard to please the other person, I tell them I will do anything for them, and I will

-Long-term effects of fear of abandonment

-difficult relationships with peers and romantic partners

-low self-esteem

-trust issues

-anger issues

-mood swings

-codependency

-fear of intimacy

-anxiety disorders

-panic disorders

-depression

-I feel that the long-term effects are very true and very possible. There’s definitely difficulty with relationships, your self-esteem suffers, trust issues are almost a given, you have anger issues with many people, your moods swing widely, and quickly, you could easily fall into a codependent relationship, and anxiety disorders are a real problem

-Healing abandonment issues

-stop the harsh self-judgement

-remind you of all the positive qualities that make you a good partner

-talk to the other person about your fear

-but don’t expect more of them than is reasonable

-therapy

-work on maintaining friendships and building your support network

-strong friendships can boost your self-worth and sense of belonging

-It’s so hard to stop that self-judgement, it’s so ingrained in you, making a list of your positive qualities is a good idea, talking to the other person about your fear can be risky, they may invalidate your feelings instead of choosing to understand, therapy is always good to do, it’s nice to have a strong support network so you have some help

-How to help someone with abandonment issues

-whether it makes sense to you or not, understand that the fear is real to them

-assure them that you won’t abandon them

-ask what you can do to help

-I know it’s not easy to do, but if you could at least try to understand that the fear is real and terrifying to us, it does feel really good when someone assures you that they won’t abandon you, but I’ve found that a lot of guys won’t make this promise, and that just adds to our questioning and worrying, asking what you can do to help would be nice, but most guys are too selfish and on their high horse to do this

-How to get over the pain of abandonment

-What not to do-

-having unrealistic expectations toward your partner

-wanting too much too soon

-overreact and over-need, which makes you feel less about yourself and your partner less about you

-trying to squelch the feelings

-trying to manipulate your partner into doing things to make you feel more secure

-trying to disguise your emotional suction cups as coyness or anger

-twisting yourself into a pretzel to hide your panic

-making your partner feel emotionally responsible toward you

-loathing yourself when you sense that your insecurity is driving your partner away

-it’s hard to not have expectations of your partner, but they call them unrealistic and blame you and your borderline for everything, you fall in love and you want love to be love and all that it encompasses, if you try to squelch your feelings they will still end up coming out, if you twist yourself into a pretzel to hide your panic it only hurts yourself, you’re already hard enough on yourself, same with loathing yourself, you already do that enough

-What to do-

-stop beating yourself up

-fear of abandonment is involuntary, you didn’t cause this, accept this fear as part of being human

-give yourself unconditional self-love

-take 100% responsibility for yourself

-vow to use abandonment fear as an opportunity to develop emotional self-reliance

-it’s hard to stop beating yourself up, everybody always tells you how horrible you are, so you may as well just stop trying and keep beating yourself up

All in all, people will never be able to understand what you are going through, so just let them think what they want, that you’re unable to heal, that you’re horrible and they’re up on their high horse looking down their nose at you. But you know the truth, you can heal and get better and then those same people that gaslighted you will regret abandoning you

I fall in love quickly, maybe too quickly? I’m not sure. But I just know. I really do love the person. They really do mean everything to me. I really would do anything for them. This is the good part. I love falling in love. I love being in love. I love cuddling with the person and looking at them like they’re your everything, that they are that special person that will think you are special and not worthless. They will be that person that will stand by you no matter what. But then something happens…

You go from idolizing the person to watching them, always on the lookout for slights. And then when you happen upon those slights, you become upset and irritated. Like why would he do this to me? I really must be worthless. And the more bad things you find, the more you begin to devalue the person. And the more you begin to devalue yourself. In the same way that you are now looking at your partner and hating them when they “hurt” you, you are also hating yourself, feeling shame about yourself when you make problems.

Once you start to feel like you are or are about to be rejected or abandoned, you begin to lash out. You may yell or cry, you may reject the other person before they can reject you, and at the same time feeling immense guilt and sadness, start to think about your worthlessness and how everybody would be better off without you.

Then they abandon you. They make you feel bad about yourself, you feel worthless. They say it’s because of your BPD. They invalidate your feelings and reject you in the meanest way possible. You continue spiraling down. You start to do bad things in a search for some kind of revenge for how you are feeling. In the moment, you feel good. But it’s after that really sucks. You then feel guilty. And shameful. You do feel bad about the things you are doing. But you somehow continue doing them. And everytime your partner reaches out to you, positively or negatively, you feel a weird sense of success.

You know in your heart that you loved that other person, more than you loved yourself. You know you would’ve done anything for them. So why did you do things that threatened that? Why did they? Yes, BPD does interfere with relationships, but the other person chooses how to react to the BPD person’s behaviors-they could react positively but choose to react negatively, making you feel thrown away and worthless. It isn’t just one side that ruined the relationship, fault can be assigned to both parties. But most likely, one or both of the people may feel that they are the “winner”. Probably the person with BPD switches between feeling like the winner and feeling like the loser.

After the relationship is “over”, both parties will alternately feel sadness and anger. And this will go on for a while. What really makes it hard is when you KNOW the relationship is not truly over, like you know that you and this person were meant to be together forever no matter what. You will feel both ups and downs as you both continue to contact the other. There will be good days and there will be bad days. Sometimes you will feel used, sometimes you will like it. But it will always be in your heart that this is the person you are supposed to be with, they will hold a high position in your heart. Maybe dreams do really come true?

In this kind of case, there is no ending. The saga continues. Will they end up together? Will they not? Will they stay friends? It’s not only up to the person with BPD to make compromises and changes, but it is also up to the partner to make some small changes too. It may take a year or two for the BPD person to heal and be better, but the other person will know that it’s worth it, and that the two of them really were soulmates. And they will build a life together that’s both loving and trusting.

-learned helplessness is a mental state where someone who is forced to bear repeated adverse situations, becomes unable or unwilling to avoid these situations

-this happens because past experiences have made them believe they don’t have the ability to avoid them, essentially, they’ve trained themselves (and their brain) to believe they have no control over the situation, and so they don’t even try

-filling our minds with limiting beliefs of what we’re able to achieve (or not) is dangerous, it generates a cycle of self-defeatist thinking, and when caught in the middle of this cycle, your motivation and overall productivity will inevitably start to suffer

Method 1-adopt an optimistic explanatory style

-you need to first identify your characteristic explanatory style, this refers to how you explain the events that happen in your day-to-day, the patterns of this are tightly linked to learned helplessness, it all comes down to differences in optimism vs pessismism

-psychologists believe that you can change learned helplessness behavior by changing the way you look at the causes of events in your life, this is known as explanatory style

-your explanatory style can be characterized in three ways

1 internal vs external (personal)

-this is how you explain the cause of an event, and where you attribute the “responsibility”, a person who classifies an event as internal will see themselves as the cause, rather than an external factor

2 stable vs temporary (permanent)

-this is the explanation of the lifespan of an event and whether the experience of the event will have permanent effects or not

3 global vs specific (pervasive)

-this is how we explain the context of an event, whether the situation is consistent across all environments or specific to one environment

Method 2-the ABC method for reframing negative situations, the step-by-step process to strengthen your optimistic thinking

A-adversity

-describe the event that happened, here leave out any evaluations or judgements, simply put a description to the event that happened in a way that’s as unemotional as possible

B-belief

-explain how adversity was interpreted, not how you think it ought to be, but what your default belief/interpretation was

C-consequence

-think about the feelings and actions that result from these beliefs, go back with a level of introspection and ask yourself how you handled things, dig deep, how and when do those emotions/feelings lead to certain behaviors and actions

D-disputation

-do you have any grounds to dispute these automatic reactions? what are the possible repercussions of following through on those emotions? think about whether there are greater benefits to moving on from the situation and stopping that baseline (often impulsive) response in its tracks

E-energization

-this is the last step that’s done when successful disputation occurs, did you manage to turn things around? put all your focus on the positive feelings that ensued as a result of reframing your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. ask yourself, what’s different between how I just handled this situation versus how I would normally handle it? relish in those personal rewards

Method 3-use the SMART method to feel in control

S-specific

M-measurable

A-achievable

R-realistic

T-timely

-you are in control

-psychological research has shown that a belief that failure is beyond your control or that a situation is unlikely to change, is associated with worse performance and lower self-efficacy

-one way you can accomplish this is through active goal setting, goal setting has been shown to increase behavior change as it increases your desire to act in a particular way (motivation), setting reasonable goals that are likely to be achieved, will provide the sense of control over your outcomes-especially as you begin to meet those goals on a consistent basis

-SMART goal method-

-specific-

-it’s important to be completely aware of what it is you want to achieve

-what is it exactly that I want to achieve? list concrete, tangible outcomes

-where is this going to happen? give names, locations, cities, etc

-when am I going to make this happen? give specific dates and timelines, work backwards

-who is going to be involved? give names and others to lean on

-how am I going to make this happen? lay out a detailed strategy, tactic, and plan

-why do I want to reach this goal? tie it into your bigger vision for yourself, these relate to your principles, values, missions-the things that you stay true to

-measurable-

-helps your brain feel a sense of control

-make it easy to determine where you stand with your progress

-help refine exactly what it is you want

-micro goal-setting improves the likelihood that each stage will be accomplished

-achievable-

-is your goal achievable and realistic?

-is the target goal you made achievable?

-what will happen if you fall short of this goal?

-consider any restraints or obstacles you may face and whether you’ll be able to overcome them

-relevant-

-this is where you sit and determine how relevant the goal is to you

-will it be fulfilling to you as an individual?

-also figure out how your goals fit with your other plans and things set for your life

-timed-

-set a timeline/deadline for this goal

-establish a time frame, set a deadline or a time for completion

-set benchmarks-this will keep you motivated and makes your progress more measurable

-continue to check in between the present and the future

1 Painful event causes emotional response-one of the best traits of a person with Borderline is their ability to immediately know when they are hurting, sometimes in an effort to release the emotions, there is little thought given to the appropriate time or place

2 Others resist-others might sense the inappropriateness of the emotional reaction and in an effort to quiet things they make dismissive remarks, they believe they are helping the situation but in reality they are fueling a more intense response

3 Fears are ignited-unacknowledged hurt results in fears of abandonment and rejection for the person with Borderline, the conclusion they reach is that the other person must not want to have a relationship with them or they would make a greater effort to share in their hurt, this feeling is even more intense if there is evidence of abandonment or rejection from past relationships, with their fight response fully engaged, it is not unusual for a person with Borderline to make threatening statements of self-harm, be verbally cutting towards the person, or become physically aggressive, this is still an effort to adequately express how they are feeling

4 Others become confused-shocked by the escalating response, others look like a deer caught in headlights, there are three ways they normally respond, one is to come out fighting and attempt to one up the assaults, which usually ends in disaster, the other is to logically explain why the person with Borderline is overreacting which does nothing to calm the emotion and only creates more distance, the last is to withdraw physically or emotionally which further reinforces the fears of the person with Borderline, once again, things can stop at this stage by speaking directly to the fears or hurt and ignoring the rest of the insulting remarks, this would end the cycle

5 Self-harm and dissociation-fully believing the relationship has ended, the person with Borderline feels rejected or abandoned yet again. they are flooded with other feelings of self-hate, intense anxiety, immediate depression, and anger towards anyone and everyone, this often leads to self-harming behaviors such as cutting, overdosing on medication, getting drunk, spending money, seeking out sexual relations, binge-eating, or risk-taking behaviors, engaging in these behaviors gives only a momentary sense of relief, but when the reality of the actions sinks in, a person with Borderline will dissociate in an effort to self-regulate their extreme emotional response, this is a self-protection device which allows the person with Borderline to detach emotionally from themselves and others, frequently they will say things didn’t happen that did and be extremely believable because they truly don’t remember. this is not intentional deception like other personality disorders because they literally don’t recall

6 Repeat the cycle with another painful event-the response of others to the dissociation can lead straight into another painful event and thus reignites the cycle for yet another downward spiral, OR the whole episode can stop here if no further mention of it is made

-it is so ironic that those who don’t actively work at stopping the cycle in the manner described above are actually enabling the pattern to continue

-Feel free to comment about this here or on my facebook page

-splitting is black and white thinking, and is a hallmark of intensely unstable relationships, the person with Borderline splits off from the less favorable features within him/herself, and won’t tolerate them in their partner

-at the very heart of the Borderline person’s acting out behaviors is core shame, a leftover from a childhood fraught with confusing messages, neglect and abuse, which left them doubting their lovability and worth from infancy forward

-any self-acknowledged error makes a person with Borderline think their a “bad person,” which is why their denial defense is so thick

-not all people with Borderline mutilate their skin, but most have become emotional cutters, in short, they heap criticism, shame, and guilt on themselves until they’re dug so deeply into a dark, cavernous hole of despair, it could take days or even weeks before they can emotionally reconsitute themselves, start to climb out of it, and rebalance

-simple, trivial shortcomings or defecits can make somebody with BPD believe they have no right to live, so destructive is the person with Borderlines self-repraoch for even minor mistakes, their shaming inner narratives they make of their dreadful feelings, can make them want to die

-splicing, another characteristic, describes a specific behavioral pattern which is typical in your dynamic with a person with Borderline, allows a person with BPD to return after highly volatile or disturbing ruptures in their dynamic, and act as if nothing troubling has previously occured

11 signs you’re splitting

1 you think about the other person in terms of being “perfect”, “evil”, “angelic”, “demonic”, “saintly”, or “narcissistic”

2 when things go wrong, you always feel “cheated”, “betrayed”, or “screwed over”

3 when you have a fight you feel as though the world is crumbling around you or coming to an end

4 most of your relationships have been intense and stormy

5 you go through regular cycles of “I love you, I hate you, don’t leave” in your relationships

6 at the beginning of relationships, you tend to idolize your partner and put them on a pedestal

7 after disagreements with your partner, you begin to lose respect for them and start to think they’re bad, stupid, pathetic, hateful, or not worthy of your time

8 you enter cycles of pushing people away, and then trying to pull them back (push/pull dynamic)

9 you crave experiencing strong emotions (love/hate) in your relationships and can’t tolerate neutral or conflicting emotions

10 you’re an idealist, and you consciously or unconsciously seek to be with perfect people and in “perfect” relationships

11 in fights, you tend to perceive yourself as the “victim” and your partner as the wrongdoer

How you can decrease splitting and replace it with healthier forms of behavior, such as self-awareness

1 identify your emotional triggers-pay attention to the words, actions, tones, or situations that trigger emotional reactions such as outbursts of anger, resentment, finger-pointing, etc, from you, write these down and look for patterns

2 tune into your bodily symptoms-how does your body feel when you are triggered? incorporate mindfulness, and/or meditation to your daily routine

3 interrupt your reactions by staying grounded- once you become self-aware of your triggers and physical reactions, the next step is to learn how to respond in a healthier way, rewiring this deeply embedded defense mechanism takes time and practice, stay two steps ahead of your responses and reactions, breathe, or remove yourself from the situation as soon as possible

4 train yourself to see the multi-layered nature of people-in a journal, set yourself the task each day to see all sides of people and situations, use “positive attributes”, “neutral”, and “negative attributes”, be diligent and self-disciplined about this process, the more you do it, the more you will come to see and appreciate the full, authentic, and multi-faceted nature of the people around you

5 be honest, willing, and open to prove yourself wrong-courage and the willingness to be honest, open, and wrong, don’t let your ego get in the way, look for opportunities to be proven wrong, be willing to be wrong about how you feel

6 look more deeply into the situation-after arguments with your partner, try to look more deeply into the situation, look beyond your feelings and the immediate surface of the situation will help you to gain a deeper perspective

7 refuse to discuss things that trigger you until you feel mentally prepared

8 explore your projections-what insecurities are you projecting onto your partner?

9 keep affirming that it is okay to have flaws, it is okay to not agree all the time, it is okay (and normal) to be a mixture of good, bad, and neutral traits

How do you guys think these strategies will work?

1 BPD often causes symptoms like extreme mood shifts and uncertainty in how a person views themselves and others-

at it’s core, BPD affects how a person thinks and feels about themselves and others enough to negatively impact their daily life, people with BPD don’t just experience mood changes, these shifts can be so severe they make a person feel overcome by massive waves of emotion, and the stimulus for these emotional reactions can be minor

one of the symptoms of BPD is unstable sense of self, another is volatile relationships with others, these symptoms are caused by, or are a cause of, these massive mood changes, it’s like when you’re first in love with somebody and you idolize them, but as time wears on and problems occur, you think less and less of them, until you either hate them and dump them before they dump you, or you wait until they dump you

2 BPD is thought to affect about 1 percent of the people in the United States-

it is still a rare diagnosis, but it is growing, I personally love to meet and talk to others who have Borderline, it’s great to have other people who understand you better than anyone else does

3 People with BPD often have other mental health conditions-

84.5 percent of people with BPD surveyed also had a co-occuring mental health disorder, but the relationship between BPD and other conditions is not completely understood

I have BPD and Bipolar Disorder, which makes it very confusing sometimes, there are times I don’t even really know what I am feeling, what are your co-occuring disorders

4 Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder are not the same thing-

they do share some significant similarities, namely that Bipolar also causes extreme shifts in mood and behavior

in Bipolar, the mood shifts often last long periods of time, while as with Borderline the shifts can occur quickly, sometimes within minutes and lasting between minutes, hours, or days

5 People with BPD are at an elevated risk for self-harm and suicide due to a mix of intense emotions and impulsivity-

between 8 and 10 percent of people with BPD will die of suicide, up to 75 percent of people with BPD attempt suicide

I believe the statistics are so high because of people impulsively deciding to try to commit suicide

self-harm is another symptom of Borderline, and many people with the condition engage in this, one way to squelch self-harm is to try using a marker and drawing on your body where you want to self-harm

6 There is no single cause of BPD, but experts believe there are several key risk factors involved-

research suggests that a combination of hereditary, neurological, and environmental factors increase a person’s likelihood of having BPD, thought the brains of people with BPD have structural and functional changes in areas linked with things like emotional regulation, but it’s not clear if those changes are a cause or a result of the condition

7 Some experts advocate for diagnosing BPD in adolescents while others prefer to wait until adulthood-

the earlier the intervention, the more likely you are to get help

I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 36 years old, I wish I had known sooner, because I feel like if I did research and started treatment a long time ago, I could be healed by now

8 The first-line treatment of BPD is therapy-

the gold standard treatment is DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy)

the next most used treatment is CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy)

there are other forms of treatment that are available

I’m trying to do DBT on my own, as well as trying my own methods

9 It can be hard for a person with BPD to trust their therapist, but that bond is often foundational to recovery-

I believe that this is true, how can get any real help from a therapist you don’t trust?

10 There are not any medications specifically recommended to treat BPD-

there simply aren’t yet clear enough benefits to using medications as the primary treatment of BPD, however, a psychiatrist may prescribe medications to address certain symptoms that some people experience

I am prescribed several medications for several of my symptoms as well as my commorbid conditions, including Lithium, Wellbutrin, Ativan, Viibryd, and Vraylar

11 BPD is often stigmatized, even among healthcare providers-

healthcare professionals, as well as laypeople, believe harmful myths about BPD, one of the most pervasive misperceptions among both professionals and non-professionals alike is that people with BPD are intentionally, maliciously trying to manipulate those around them with their displays of extreme emotion or self-harm, this is false, these symptoms are stemming from mental illness, not a person deciding of their own volition that they’d like to manipulate other people

12 People with BPD can be empathetic and lovely individuals-

many people with BPD are able to understand the feelings of other people to a greater degree, many are also unusually creative because they have a deeper and broader experience of human emotion from which to draw

I believe this is true, but there are some non-BPD people out there who judge the person with BPD as only BPD, they use Borderline against those they claim to love, it’s called gaslighting

13 With solid therapy and hard work, the long-term outlook for people with BPD can be bright-

remission rates are extremely high, studies show 85 percent remitted within ten years

Can you guys think of any other things people need to know about BPD? Let me know on my facebook page

1 Discouraged Borderline Personality Disorder

clingy, submissive, general feeling of gloom wherever they go, a deep-seated rage simmers constantly within them, ready to explode, tend to harm themselves by self-mutilation and are prone to have suicidal thoughts which they could act upon if not given the help they need

2 Impulsive Borderline Personality Disorder

constantly need to be the center of attention, extremely emotional and dramatic, sexually provocative, flirts, influencers, leaving people spell bound with their charm, easily bored, constant need for excitement, gets them into trouble that is dangerous and could hurt them physically

3 Petulant Borderline Personality Disorder

unpredictable, easily irritated, impatient, ever-complaining, always see the negative side of things, distance themselves from people for fear of disappointment, stubborn, defiant, prefer to do things their way, feel both angry and unworthy at the same time, making volatile and quite explosive when triggered

4 Self-destructive Borderline Personality Disorder

unending sense of bitterness and gloom that they keep to themselves, engage in self-destructive behaviors such as drug use, drinking, gambling, promiscuous and humiliating sex, they do these things either as a conscious effort to numb their intense feelings of self-hatred or as unintentional results of being under the influence of the self-destructive substances they take

I think I am the Petulant type of BPD, sounds the most like me, but it also sounds pretty extreme.

Which kind do you most identify with? Tell me on my facebook post